What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
