You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
