bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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