I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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