Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
