Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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