I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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