I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
