ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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