capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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