she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
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you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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