I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
