So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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