and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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