I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
