I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
