He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
