i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
