my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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