Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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