Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
