NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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