I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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