I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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