how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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