meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
