My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize