i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
