I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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