Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
