IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need to align my fucking chakras
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
