we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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