just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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