you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Please don't give away my fajitas
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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