I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
