they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
