in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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