Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize