Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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