i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
