wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Come see our sink grown plant.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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