It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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