Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
