How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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