today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
