She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
