proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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