i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
