my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize