I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
