good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The best revenge is premature balding
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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