Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
