If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
