I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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