I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
