i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
