champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
