everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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