I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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