i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
