I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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